i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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