You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize