i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
