My brain says no but my pants say off.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
