Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
