Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
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She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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