There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize