I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
