So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
