I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
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