my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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