Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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