God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Couch. On fire.
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