is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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