Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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