Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
