Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
