Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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