Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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