ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
