oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
