My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
