I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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