haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
