Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
