if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
please come you make the beer taste better
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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