I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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