Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
