What a fucking waste of an outfit
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
