Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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