At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
