You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
