I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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