is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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