You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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