apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
