they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
