the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
