my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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