every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She's the barista slut.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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