I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
