she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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