a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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