Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
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elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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