He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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