As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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