with your own penis?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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