We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
