i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Drunk is not a location!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
