She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
