Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
