Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize