Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
