just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize