He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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