I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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