Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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